I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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