i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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