I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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