rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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