So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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