if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She told me I should be a condom model.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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