there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
