what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'd cum for enchiladas.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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