how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
