I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
