I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize