oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
