It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
