My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
