even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize