No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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