never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
