A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
