i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
