He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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