i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm just crazy horny about you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize