And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
