I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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