It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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