What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
