Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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