her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
