help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
