before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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