id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
