we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
