I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
