apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
