The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
