Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
