just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
