very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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