it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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