he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
