Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Of course I have a pirate flag
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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