do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
