He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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