yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
