Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize