Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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