More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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