I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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