Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry anony11 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.

Fav 23 1918 3566
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

Fav 20 4653 2401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

Fav 33 8508 1791
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.

Fav 14 1168 5412
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

Fav 14 4558 1510
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

Fav 20 3701 934
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(506): View more from New Brunswick

there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

Fav 4 872 1362
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(386): View more from Florida

So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.

Fav 0 14 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.

Fav 0 41 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT