I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
