Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
