i just had sex bonerless
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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