This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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