in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
