i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize