So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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