I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
