I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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