There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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