Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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