ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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