Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
